Martin Luther, founder of beer-based religion.

Ahh, life in NY. I have my own horror stories about banking but Brian Kenny sums up what it’s like to deal with the day-to-day problems of  the city:

I’ve been getting promotional letters from my local bank “inviting” me to “stop by any time at my local 5th Avenue branch” to talk to their “friendly mortgage and loan representative” to discuss refinancing my mortgage. “Just drop in!” I thought that sounded friendly enough. So I stopped by today just for a quick chat to see what they thought I was eligible for. “Don’t you have an appointment?!?” they snapped. “We don’t have any representatives HERE!!! You HAVE to have an APPOINTMENT!” There was a lot of scrambling around to find the name and number of the one loan officer I would have to call, which was quickly scribbled on someone else’s business card, while another bank officer tried her number. I felt my cell vibrate, but decided to ignore it until they finished commenting on my naiveté. After a few more moments of condescension I left, and checked my cell phone. There was a call from the loan officer asking me to please call her, and not to talk to the dolts at the bank. I’m seriously considering leaving banks entirely and keeping all my money in a box under my bed.

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Creepy situation of the week: I had a long wait for my train out of Grand Central, so I got a coffee and sat down. When I got up I had barely turned the corner when I realized I had left my baseball cap on the bench and ran back to get it. Someone was already sitting in my spot, so I asked if he saw my cap when he sat down. A man and woman sitting at the next table said as soon as I got up some guy strode over to grab my cap, and ran. I was incredulous but they both insisted that’s what happened. I can’t image why someone would want my cap, or practically stalk me to get it. And it really didn’t make it any less creepy that the man looked and sounded exactly like Robert Durst. I decided it was best just to run for my train and hide there.

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So, I think it’s great that the Girl Scouts teach skills, independence and self-confidence to young girls, so at “cookie-sales time” I always buy a few boxes. This year I heard that “pastors” Kevin Swanson and Dave Buehner of Generations Radio said the cookies are “wicked” and “promote evil” and “independence”, as if that last one was somehow bad. They said if we ever want women to “know their place” we should BOYCOTT the cookies! So I bought 25 boxes. And I don’t even eat cookies. And I may buy more. F**k you, Swanson & Buehner.

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